Sometimes I wonder what my life was like if I just smoked pot, ate cheeseburgers and masturbated on cam all day. As it is my life is one long fever dream of neurosis and close up shots of my snatch and eight foot posters of my face.
Look at 16 pictures of my ass while I talk about crystal meth and anal sex.
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I'm told if America had a King, I'd be his Madame Pompadour....or at least his Nell Gwynne. You know, because either way, I'm so clever. 
